Losing Doubt, Finding Me

“How to Lose” Chapter Excerpt by Kayla Cason

Losing Doubt, Finding Me

Three years ago, I lost everything—at least, that’s what it felt like. I had just left my son’s father and the gym we built together. It wasn’t just a breakup—it was the death of a dream I had poured years of my life into. I walked away with a broken heart, a two-year-old on my hip, and $1,000 to my name.

It was terrifying.

I moved back in with my mom. That part stung. Not because I didn’t love her—but because I had tasted independence, and now I was back under someone else’s roof trying to figure out how to start my life over. But I knew one thing: my son deserved to see his mom fight for something better. So I took that $1,000 and bought gym equipment. No fancy studio. No marketing team. Just me, a vision, and a garage.

For a couple years, I trained clients out of my brother’s garage. Quietly. Consistently. Some days I felt strong, focused, unstoppable. Other days, I felt like I was drowning. But I learned to give myself grace. I was healing, rebuilding, and figuring it out as I went. I learned that being kind to yourself isn’t weakness—it’s survival.

Instead of trying to conquer the whole mountain, I set small, manageable goals. Train one new client. Save one extra hundred dollars. Write down the vision. Those small goals stacked up, and I celebrated every single win. Because when you’re in the middle of the storm, celebrating the little victories gives you a reason to keep going. It helps you enjoy the process, even when it’s messy. It helps you find beauty in the climb, not just the view at the top.

Eventually, I saved just enough to take a risk. I got the courage to open my own gym, even though I only had enough in the bank to survive maybe two months. While I prepped to launch, I

delivered Uber Eats just to make rent and stay alive. There were nights I cried on the way home—exhausted, unsure, scared. But I never stopped. Because I had finally figured out my “why.”

That was the shift. I wasn’t just chasing success—I was building a future for my son. I was creating a space where people could get stronger, physically and mentally. I had found my passion. And once you find that, everything changes. You can start setting clear goals. You can actually see where you’re going.

Fast forward: I opened the gym. My gym. And not only did it survive—it thrived. Three years later, it’s still growing, and I’ve even opened a second business: a coffee and smoothie shop inside the gym. I went from rock bottom to building something I’m proud of—while raising a beautiful little boy who got to watch his mom fight her way through.

What I’ve learned is that confidence isn’t a magical feeling that just shows up one day. It’s built. Slowly. Through grace, small wins, and showing up for yourself when it would be easier to give up. And self-doubt? It still tries to creep in sometimes. But now, I know exactly who I am—and what I’m working toward.

Takeaways:

• ●  Give yourself grace. You don’t have to have it all figured out to take the next step.

• ●  Find your “why.” Passion gives your journey purpose and makes the hard days worth it.

• ●  Set small goals, take things day by day, and celebrate every win—even the tiny ones.

  That’s where confidence is born.